An aerial photographer hired me to fly him to a neighboring community to take pictures of a woman's farm. I assumed he knew the location and we began our flight.

Once we got near, I asked him for specific directions. The photographer replied, "the woman said it was easy to find. Just follow the highway west, and the name is on the mailbox."

A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.

"Cloth or leather﹖" asked the salesperson.
"Makes no difference. "replied customer.
　　
"What color?" asked the clerk.
"Any." he responded.
　　
"Size?"
"Give me whatever you prefer," the gentleman said slightly exasperated. "My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them."

Teacher: When was Rome built?
Tom: At night.

Teacher: Who told you that?
Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn't built in a day.

A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."

Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."

At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"

The guest seated  next to the speaker said:"Your wife must love you very much. I see her send you a 'kiss' before you begin your speech." 

The speaker smiled and explained:"You don't know my wife. The 'kiss' she gives me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid'".